Lessons from the L.A. Fires

Not Useful Ones. Just Stuff about My Family.

Of the three types of conflict I learned about in middle school, “man against nature” was the most likely to bring a family together. “Man against man” just described marriage itself, and “man against himself” seemed like a euphemism for a drinking problem, possibly due to the absurd amount of Hemingway they made us read.

So when fires broke out to the east and west of our house in Hollywood, I figured our family would unite, Swiss Family Robinson style, though I wasn’t exactly sure what that would entail, since I’d never read The Swiss Family Robinson. But I figured it meant eating lots of melted cheese, hunting with knives, and profiting off of Nazis. Basically, becoming Republicans.